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Thursday, May 10th, 2007
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10:58 am - The joy of ordering
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I spent the past two nights going nuts with programming languages and programming environments.
It's incredible how open source and high speed internet connections have affected the variety of tools and methods available to people who need the niche of hobbyist programming to satisfy and stimulate.
Code poetry
What's more awesome than that? Having what amounts to the "great works" of contemporary programming to ponder and dilligently comprehend. Much respect to John Carmack for inspiring and instructing far more people than a Starbucks full of uninspired and pompous professors by simply releasing the sources to Quakes I-III. Linux, GNU software, MySQL, and all the other "great works" of the areas of computer software most relevant to the common person (the end-user and the small business owner) give most anyone all they need to do a commendable good for other people.
Radical change in thought pattern; Great benefit:
( Abandon hope all ye who enter, reflection and anecdotes follow )
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
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2:43 am - Homajeheebna
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1:07 am - My fulmenial job, vice president of menial tasks -- Capitan Bleenko
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I work at a company called Biscuit Company in Ramseur, NC. It's an odd little restaurant in that it specializes simply in various types of breakfast biscuits, and closes promptly at 2pm (which must make it a dream for managers).
Prior to working at this company I worked at a couple of rather stressful jobs requiring nothing but physical strength.
Now, it was a hypothesis of mine that mental ability declines along with age but I'm excited to find that this hypothesis meets with a thousand counterexamples nearly every day. I think the biggest change so far is letting myself become a person who has put aside past and future to simply soak in the moment. I never thought I could handle the things that I do. I do not have a photographic memory, though I could fool most people into thinking I do simply because making a point of knowing where everything is at yields a greater chance that it will be recorded.
In my own mind I am walking through the evening at work where no less than 20 utensils/location pairs were introduced. I remember all of them simply because it registered.
The greatest day of my life was when I stopped thinking. You smart people have nothing to fear. Let go and let your brain be the well oiled machine that it can be.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
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3:13 am - Darkness
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2:40 am
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i do not want to create the stupidest website on the internet
email bleenko@gmail.com if you do not want to help
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
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4:18 pm
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i want to create the stupidest website on the internet
email bleenko@gmail.com if you want to help
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, January 29th, 2005
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1:42 pm - One more, please
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:: Spy Men Fly for Train Trains ::
Coat these whiskets and smile on me
For out coals jamboree
Spill the dish
Take tellers and will for wish
Spill the dish
Outer pain hurts to strain
Pills
Go crabby and stilt the main
File four planters and put the rain
On while tellers come up to fame
Spilled the rain
Players could while and play
Flutes could sound out their great domain
Spains could tell us the words they sang
But nobody could wash the rain
Away the pain
Fillers and my domain
Venn is loading up his own train
Spilled my coffee on biscuit tain
Fulled a cool leper and feeled his mane
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(comment on this)
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1:36 pm - Two other poems
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:: Ralph’s Twelve Point Invention ::
Point one was untangled as Ralph opened the box
Point two took the night watch and Ralph got outfoxed.
Point three was the block that did Ralph’s toe undine,
Point four in Ralph’s pocket, did set fill for swine.
Point five shouldn’t whisper these things anymore,
Point six was on shoulders and Ralph’s out the door.
Point seven had flaxen and stellar on cats,
Point eight was the chieftan and balduran was baked.
Point nine had it coming as Ralph at his stew.
Point ten cleaned his lips and suffered him shoes.
Point eleven was always there watching with glee,
Point twelve was destructive Ralph is very thee.
:: Pedigree Should Cattercalls ::
I found a baked briskit on catch with Bill Flee
Bill Flee was lake stuffing and Bill Flee was with Ghee.
I couldn’t smell briskit for sight of the march,
But there was a talent outpacing the starch.
The bunnies they do tie my love to the tree,
And baskets are poultry while fry guys shout “WEEEE”.
A gamer is batten and baker’s gone done,
File manners in emblems and pass me a bun.
I were a mayor on salads of cheese,
Crate scoffers hurt treetops, watch out for the bees!
Play twister with Greely and shout at the mice,
Give plenty of sugar, and coat it with spice.
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(comment on this)
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1:40 am - Classic poetry
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A gallop, a whistle, a boiling candy,
A turnip stand, an acorn, a proto-banshee!
All sell on the corner of the market page three,
And all turn on a dollar with the hustler Bambi!
The gallop sold the spy and the whistle bought it back,
The candy couldn't briskit with the turnip stand black.
The acorn was a-pushin' for an early closing day,
But before it could remember, the proto-banshee got away!
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, January 28th, 2005
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1:10 am
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I have to smile a little bit when looking at the depth of Isaac Newton's theological works.
The man responsible for the Principia, calculus (which some may consider more of a curse than a blessing, especially the ones who have to endure it for college credit), and (I *think*) Classical Mechanics, was also responsible for a great number of theological works.
It doesn't surprise me that a mind interested in the patterns of the universe would find the patterns running through the 66 books of the bible so fascinating.
Some facts about the bible:
1) The bible contains 66 books written by various authors
2) The bible contains 66 books written over a long period of time
3) The bible contains much (for the naysayers, I'm using the word MUCH here, not the phrase "nothing but") that is consistent across time AND space.
Isn't that neat?
It's a parallel to the way scientists go about saying "Yes, this hypothesis is proven as a theorem."
That similar phenomena, or observations, occur in like manner across time and space.
Earth does what it was doing thousands of years ago... orbiting around the sun and spinning on its axis.
And in the bible, not only high level obvious patterns emerge, such as the emphasis on SIN, SACRIFICE, and REDEMPTION (one does "wrong", another has to take the punishment of the one who did "wrong", and the one who did "wrong" is justified in the sight of the lawgiver)...
BUT, for either one simply interested in patterns (YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GOD TO SEARCH AND FIND SOME FASCINATING PATTERNS), or one who simply wishes to marvel in the hidden consistency of scripture (adding to one's belief that scripture carries God's signature -- or that God "wrote" the bible) the bible offers a vast tapestry of varied similarity in pattern to zoom in on and inspect.
I am not saying God exists or that the bible is true.
I'm just a seeker fascinated by patterns.
;)
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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2:42 pm - MY NON-CONFRONTATIONAL DAILY WALK: IF YOU WISH, COME AND SEE…
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Bible thumpers. Zealots. Rednecks. Bigots.
I don’t really fall into any of those categories, I think.
Though I do place several labels on myself: “Christian”, “Devoted follower of Jesus Christ”, and other labels basically saying the same thing: That I believe a man named Jesus Christ walked on this earth. The recollection of the walk of Jesus has been handed down through both the spoken and written word (essentially the first four books of the New Testament).
If you really study those four gospels, you read of a man who walked without needing anything but to be nice to people. He lived without a wife (so the gospels tell us), told people that He thought that they should be nice to one another, even when people verbally or physically attack them, and when His captors came against Him for a crime engineered by the Jewish sect of the day (so the gospels again tell us), He simply went and took the punishment they gave him. The more I follow this man named Jesus, the more I find that the way He lived isn't out of our reach. It actually seems to lead to a more fulfilled life because you don't desire that much, save to help others where others can be helped.
I also believe Jesus died via crucifixion, and that Jesus rose from the dead.
The first seems harmless enough, you might say “Do you still believe in Santa Claus too?”
The second is where people walk away or either throw a few crass comments toward me.
And that’s fine.
I’ve not went up to a single person and quoted the bible in an attempt to convert them to Christianity. I’ve not called out a single person for doing what I think is wrong.
I have had a lot of people, though, wonder why I’m so damn happy all the time. I’ve had a lot of people think it strange that things like road rage and misunderstandings that cause people to raise their voice at me (for anything) don’t affect me.
Some people think it crazy that I spend a lot of time looking for ways to help others when I have nothing to give (I can’t help it… it’s just an impulse that I get), and that I think a Friday night is best spent looking for things in this bible I own.
I’ll have to apologize. I have approached people before, but it was only when I was so filled with joy that I just had to find out if the person next to me had what I had, which I believe has come from the faith I hold.
“Are you a Christian?”
“No.”
“Okay, just curious.”
And then I go off humming or something.
Now I will be honest. It’s not always happiness and singing. Sometimes I do get a bit sad. But these periods of depression come from one thing: I want to do something that I know is “wrong” (which FIRST the bible tells me, and THEN through abstinence I begin to SEE THAT IT WASN’T GOOD FOR ME IN THE FIRST PLACE) and know that if I just faithfully turn to Christ, the burden of wanting to do “wrong” will leave. And some times I say “Well, I’ll just do it this one time.” And then I’m back in the same predicament I was in before.
Smoking is a simple example. I have come to realize that I have a nice singing voice. But I can’t use it fully until I stop smoking. And smoking gives me headaches and a whole lot of other stuff.
From a religious standpoint, I’m destroying both the body and the talent that I was given. It’s like God says “I will give you this talent and with this talent you will be able to do many things.”
I can reject that, but let’s look at this example. You give your son a toy. He takes the toy and starts to hit it against the wall. He ends up destroying it. He doesn’t even thank you for it.
You can do a variety of things. Do you want the child to continue to display this sort of behavior? Or do you lovingly and patiently correct them?
I want to wrap all of this up with a couple of points.
Perhaps a person CAN have this without Jesus Christ. Very well. I’ve found something that works for me and fills me with joy that goes beyond words (and it literally goes beyond words… I’m not just using a cliché). I don’t have any anxieties about the future, I don’t have any anger towards anyone around me, and I am a simple and happy person that people say makes their day suck just a little bit less.
And the hope of Heaven?
And now we come to the end of all things.
There are two people in the world. Those who will lay their heads down in death with absolute peace and comfort, and those who will not.
I know that I’ll be one of the former.
And at that moment, that’s all that will matter.
God bless you all.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
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3:21 pm - Fugues
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a lot of nice things in the fugues of bach.
I could just listen to and write fugues for the rest of my life and have good music to listen to.
I'd still listen to proswell too.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 24th, 2005
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4:06 pm - I was going to talk about some memories
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4:02 pm - Livejournal is a tool used to spread a message
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So I'll use it to toss some morsels:
Only a few remain today. But the things of the past are just things discovered by sinful man’s eyes. God has allowed man to discover certain things.
Who is to say the unsung piper in 16th century Switzerland was not composing a piece that in the future would be put to some electronic tones by proswell?
That is knowledge of infinity, which only God can know.
God Almighty, the Sovreign, who chose to save those who believe.
There are better things than this world.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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2:55 pm - reminisce part 3
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2:47 pm - reminisce part 2
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2:47 pm - reminisce part 1
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“A few beautiful things I have seen”
I think that my entire problem with other people comes from this:
I think that I’ve seen a lot of beautiful things in this world and have given these things very deep and complex descriptions as to why they are beautiful. The descriptions themselves, while being accurate and part of the perception of beauty (which goes beyond simply being labeled “beautiful”, hence the complex descriptions) can only be understood by certain people (for instance it takes someone who has a certain mindset and certain history to understand why the ending to Final Fantasy IV is “beautiful”).
By focusing on these things entirely (like I tend to do) and desiring to share them with other people, I inevitably get put in a situation where I am unable to express myself to others because the other people are very few.
So I have to just get them out, appreciate them one more time, and toss them in my “emotional travel bag” where they’ll stay. They’re not going anywhere. When the time comes I’ll be able to share them with others. And I can trust in that and begin to communicate about other things. Mainly things that involve how OTHER people feel. So here goes a look at things I’ve found beautiful in this life, and why. In no particular order other than just looking at this collection of memories and picking some out.
PS: Some of this may turn out to be embarrassing, but that’s okay because perhaps it’ll be a cleansing act as well.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 7th, 2005
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2:47 pm - logos
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| Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
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3:42 pm - I'm off of robotussin
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If you're thinking I'm full of it, you have every reason to think so.
But read this short piece for my history with robo and how I was finally
freed from it. For you people keeping up with my spiritual excursions,
it reads like religious beliefs have nothing to do with it, so you can
stop gagging.
( free at last )
Yet, I can't help but say "To God be the glory".
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 30th, 2004
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4:37 am - More emo
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